The Daily Scream

News and Culture with a Twist

Will Roadkill Wraps Put Martha Stewart in the Green?

December 5th, 2010

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BEDFORD, N.Y. -  Following the huge success of  SPLAT!, Martha Stewart’s roadkill clean up product, MSO announced a new fashion line called  “Roadkill Wraps.”

Instead of  recycling dead animals back into the soil, Martha had a vision.
“We could be designing great outerwear and putting them to good use without getting hunted down by the humane society,” she said to her board of  advisors.

Branded under the MSG (Martha Stewart Green) clothing line, these  eco-friendly wraps will launch in tandem with New York fall fashion lines.  So far, consumer testing has  been positive.   

“They’re really soft and cuddly. The one I tried on was made from baby chipmunks,” said one eager buyer.  “ They have all the warmth of real fur without the PC issue,” said another customer.  The wraps are made from a variety of animals, like possum, bear, skunk, squirrel, chipmunk, dog, cat and the crème de la crème, deer.  They’ll also be procuring bear and moose from a Canadian supplier.  “Just imagine what we can craft with those horns,” Martha commented.

But it’s their unique designs that have everyone talking.

“Leaving the tire tracks in the fur as a design motif totally updates the look and keeps it real,” said Oscar De La Renta.  Other designers are ogling too.

“ I wish I’d thought of it,” admitted Ralph Lauren, known for his love of the hunt.

Roadkill Wraps will come in long scarves, pashiminas, short jackets and ¾ length capes and coats.  The high end line will start at $150 and be sold exclusively at Barneys. The trailer trash line will start at $35 be sold exclusively at K Mart.  All wraps bear the disclaimer: No animals were intentionally harmed in the making of this product.  MSO shares rose 3% on the announcement.

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4 responses so far ↓

  • There are several awesome things about this article. The first being, that I might actually be one of these things – I would certainly invest in the stock! :)

    And I also must point out that my Aunt * herry, who lives up in Inverness California, used to make leather clothes. And she actually did fashion a jacket made out of roadkill for a friend who collected raccoon and deer carcasses off the road.

    Sigh. Truth and fiction. The difference is more narrow than we may think.

    * Name withheld for legal reasons.

  • Benita,
    Truth is always stranger than fiction. Would love to see one of those roadkill coats!

  • Oh Martha… are always ahead of the game. Forward thinker!!! Interesting piece.

  • I hope men won’t be neglected in the line! Raccoon undies…?
    LOL, and will probably come true!